We teach our kids, students, and youth to be modest. We tell girls to “guard guys’ hearts”. I would argue that we don’t know how to explain this and be clear on what that means. What does it look like to be modest? How do we guard each other’s hearts? Is modest a girls-only issue?
Definition of Modesty: 1. Dressing or behaving so as to avoid indecency, especially to avoid attracting sexual attention; 2. Not revealing or emphasizing the figure
We teach young girls that modesty is only for ladies. I don’t agree with that and I know I’m not the only one. Girls are taught extremes of either being promiscuous or unstylish. There is a medium that girls can be taught. There is also a level of modesty that guys should be taught as well.
Modesty is focused on clothing. Purity is focused on mindset.
Maybe instead of teaching our girls to guard guys’ hearts, we should teach our boys to guard their minds. A guy may be able to lust after a girl that is scantily dressed, but a girl can just as easily lust after a muscular guy in a tight shirt. We need to start teaching our young people to be in control of their eyes and minds.
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
The first part of this excerpt from 1 Corinthians 6 says “Run from sexual sin” that means that we can control our minds and thoughts. Let’s stop putting women down and start teaching self-control. Yes, guard each other’s hearts, don’t be reckless; but don’t make girls feel less confident in how God made her.
We need to change the way we teach modesty and purity. What you wear isn’t always the cause of someone else’s fall. We need to check the heart.